The Legend of LeeAnn

(I liked this poem I wrote so much that I thought I would post it here as well as my poetry website)

The Legend of LeeAnn (Copyright 2007 RR Johnson jr)

Down in the Louisiana Bayou
within the darkest wood
lives a old witch named LeeAnn
whose life was never understood

In her early years
a man betrayed her love
she placed an evil spell on him
that the nearby townsfolk rarely speak of

One day three men drunk at a local bar
placed a bet that one of them could destroy
the old witches hut and kill LeeAnn
to end the evil spells she seemed to enjoy

Jim Johnson drunk as a skunk went out into the Bayou
and after hours of searching found
the old witches hut
but with no one around

He waited for the old witch on her porch
with a gun in his hand
but with whiskey in his body
he fell into a deep sleep you understand

When Jim awoke
he found himself naked and tied
to the old witches rocking chair
and no where to hide

The witch cast a spell on him
her most powerful to date
Jim's hands trembled in fear
thinking he'd soon be Bayou alligator bait

He fell into sleep again
the spell was so strong
and when he awoke again
he was in his boat and felt nothing was wrong

The whiskey must have made him dream
he thought aloud
never again would be travel drunk in his boat
deep in the Bayou he vowed

Jim travelled back to the local bar
and there he heard everyone gasp
for the old witch had turned him
into a beautiful female lass

Now men don't venture into the Bayou
to look for LeeAnn the old witch
or else you might lose the family jewels
and not have to scratch that itch

Odors

As a person who attempts to help the environment by riding on public transportation as often as possible I find that my own personal environment is polluted with those persons around me who seem to be totally unaware of private hygiene. That being said there is also the problem of those men and women who also give the words 'personal hygiene' a bad name because they like to see how much perfume they can wear. Or is because they stink so badly they need to over indulge themselves on perfume? I can also tell you that there is no truth to the rumour that women do not fart. I have personally witnessed this on a train into Amsterdam. Not only did this woman not apologize for her rather abrupt release of gas but she smiled as though a great pain of release had left her body. I wonder if people understand the difference between deodorant and antiperspirant? I use something that has both. I suppose that using deodorant is the lesser of two evils but seeing someone with a huge wet spot underneath their armpits is not exactly wonderful either.